Last night I went to dinner at a local Charlie Brown’s “Steak House” with my family, my brother, his wife and baby, and my mom. We had a party of 5 adults and three kids, one of which was too young to eat anything. At the end of the meal when our check came, the server informed us that she had added 18% tip to our bill.

I’ve worked in restaurants for almost 7 years so I know all about adding tips to checks. It’s there as policy but it’s up to the server’s discretion to use it. I myself never did because frankly, it’s offending and I feel that as long as I do a good job I’ll get the tip to show for it. And if I don’t, I would be upset but ok with the fact that I took a chance and did the best that I could to make them happy. But I do understand there are times where it might be necessary. The rule of thumb is that a tip can be added to a bill for parties of 8 or more at a minimum, but if I HAD to add it, I would not do it unless it was at LEAST 10 people and only in special cases, like a big birthday party, engagement dinner, or something that would take more work. Our server was fine, but not exceptional and we had FIVE adults! we ordered two kids meals for my kids but it looks like she counted each seat including the baby, totaling it a party of 8. This royally pissed me off because we didn’t have a large party – it was a family dinner and I didn’t feel it was necessary to add an 18% tip onto our bill.

It isn’t about the money. I tip 20% at a minimum, up to 25% if they were great. she would have gotten more if she didn’t add the tip, and I said so out loud a little too loudly while she was standing within hearing range. I think it made her feel bad because she stuck around and made small talk after she gave us our card back, and I just kind of brushed her off. Call me mean, but she probably added the tip because we were Asian and Asian’s have a reputation for not tipping well. Also maybe she felt entitled to 18% because our kids were getting restless since the food took a while to come out, and my 1 year old Corin, who is usually awesome at restaurants, cried a couple of times (he was getting over a couple of shots and had diarrhea because I was a bad mommy and let him have cake with buttercream for his birthday even though he’s allergic to dairy) . But she didn’t do anything for us other than to bring out our food and get us some extra napkins, and I even cleaned up the mess that Corin made when he decided he no longer liked broccoli.

Super annoying.

Anyway, this lead to a conversation with my brother. He hates going out to eat because eating out with a baby is too stressful and feels self conscious about disturbing other guests. I totally understand where he’s coming from, but I actually prefer to eat out. I think the more you eat out the more they will get used to eating out. Almost three Avery asks us to go out to eat and we usually eat out at least once every weekend. Sure, she doesn’t listen all the time, but I usually bring a coloring book to keep her busy and snacks for both kids… and if all else fails, we always have netflix on our phones. It’s easier for me because it gives me a break from trying to figure out what to feed them all the time, and yes it might get hard sometimes but we do what we can to keep the peace at the table. if they’re having a bad day, it really sucks. but honestly i could care less what the next table has to say about it. Don’t get me wrong – There are certain restaurants that kid should never go to under the age of 5. But this was a CHARLIE BROWNS. they give you coloring books and crayons and it’s supposed to be a family restaurant. We decided to eat out last minute because there was nothing to eat at home and although we first considered ordering takeout, it was too annoying to fill up five take out boxes from their salad bar. So we just packed up and decided to eat there. I don’t think that we should ever be made to feel as if we shouldn’t be there (the server asked us if Corin was tired – he wasn’t – and made a couple of comments about how hard it must be eating out with kids).

This reminded me of a recent Parenthood episode where the couple with a newborn was asked to leave the restaurant because the baby was crying too much. I think being asked to leave the restaurant is horrifying. BUT I felt that the mother should have stepped away from the table with her baby (As I did last night with Corin when he cried). She could have breastfed in the car, or asked a server for a chair to place in the bathroom (I’ve done this) or office if they have one available. And then tip profusely. I guess my point is, if you’re going to eat out, be prepared. Don’t go out and let your kids run a muck and cause a scene. I think that’s just irresponsible and bad parenting. But don’t avoid eating out just because you’re afraid everybody’s gonna hate your kid. It’s not the end of the world, and it CAN still be enjoyable and if you like eating out you don’t have to stop just because you have a baby now. Just pick the right restaurant – our kids love udon so we usually pick Japanese and have had success with Vietnamese, Chinese, or Family American/Italian (Can’t go wrong with Mac and Cheese or Pasta). Don’t take them to a place where there is nothing for them to eat. If you’re in the mood for fois gras, get a babysitter.

And servers, DON’T add tip to checks! it’s insulting to the diner and if you feel you have to fine…but don’t freaking include babies in your headcount!!

Wow, It’s been a while. I’ve been wanting to blog again for a long time but living a life with two kids makes it hard for me to sit down and collect my thoughts in writing. But I promised myself that with the new Xanga 2.0 I would start posting again, so I wanted to say hello to everyone still around! My head is a jumble of posts that I want to write about. I stopped keeping track of my kids as they grow up and every month that passes where I realize I barely even took pictures, I get a small panic knowing that time passes too quickly and before I know it I will forget everything. Life is hard but great – I really can’t complain because I’m blessed with so many things and I feel lucky to be able to stay home to take a break from work and concentrate on just being a mommy for a little while. Once I do go back to work, I’ll have even less time for myself, so no excuses! I’m back!

I’ve been on Xanga for more than 10 years and I’ve probably exposed a little too much about myself in those years. When I pulled up my post archives I started reading through them and I spent the next two hours cringing at some of the things I’ve written about. Ugh did I really have a weird autobot/decepticon battle thing going on here? For shame! Anyway, since I’m back I might as well tell you three more things you probably didn’t know about me and I probably shouldn’t tell but why not since my whole embarrassing life was once posted on here anyway.

1. I used to be a litterbug. Yes, I’m ashamed of it, but back around my college years I littered everywhere. I would even throw out whole take out boxes out the car window. I have no idea why I was like that but I guess I didn’t think about the repercussions of my actions and never stopped to think who would be out in the highway cleaning up after me. Something clicked years later and I now get super angry whenever I see a water bottle out on a hiking trail or even a piece of paper that missed the garbage can. I refuse to litter now and won’t even spit my gum out on the street. Every day the fact that I contributed to making the world just a little bit more dirtier haunts me. What can I do now but do my part to help keep the Earth green? Some of you may think it’s not a big deal, but others would probably be horrified if they knew how bad I used to be.

2. I’m a prepper wannabe. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a supply hoarder. I have this strange obsession with buying things in bulk. I’m not your typical hoarder because I’m constantly throwing things out just to get rid of it and my hubby and mom hate me for it. If I don’t have a place to put it, I’ll probably throw it out. But when it comes to supplies, I get a little crazy. I’ve always loved having office supplies in bulk. Pens, paper, notebooks – even if I never really used them. Now that I’m older and use household supplies I have to buy everything from Costco – paper towels, baby wipes, toilet paper. I have fruit snacks, pudding, and crackers in bulk sitting in the basement as well as boxes and boxes of ziploc bags, toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, tissues, and half gallon jugs of shampoo. When I run low on supplies (low meaning like 4 or 5 left) I freak out and have to make another Costco run. I just never want to run out of anything, ever. I think this obsession has manifested into my wannabe contingency plan. I’ve read some books about what would happen in an EMP and I will go as far as to say that the only reason I’m not a true prepper is because I don’t have the money for it and I’m still sane enough to know that it’s not practical to prep since the EOTWAWKI (End Of The World As We Know It) will probably not happen in my lifetime. But if I won the lotto and I had unlimited funds to do what I wanted? I would probably be the next guest on Doomsday Preppers. Only I would have my face blurred out and identity changed because I’m not crazy enough and would be too ashamed to go public with my obsession. The funny thing is, I always feel sorry for the people on that show because I know they really want to try and survive if SHTF (Shit Hits the Fan) and they are wasting away their current life in order to prep for something that will probably never happen. I’ve seen episodes where the wife would cry because her husband is spending every dime he makes on gas masks and freeze dried food because he thought that the end of the world would come in 2012. Wonder what that guy is doing now. Teaching your 10 year old how to shoot a gun and spending weekends training for war is just too much and too nuts. But whenever they show their storage room full of food and supplies I’m always like ohhhhhhhhhh, I wish I had an underground bunker big enough to store all my Costco stuff! lol. With unlimited funds, I would probably buy a few acres of land off the grid and build myself a nice little cabin with a lake and a garden. Something we can use as a vacation spot but would do really well as a bug out location. You know, just in case.

3. There’s something about Dr. Who. I’m slightly ashamed to say this, because Dr. Who is such a wacky, terrible show but I can’t stop watching it. When I pull late nights making cookies (I make and sell cookies sometimes as a hobby), I like to watch Netflix on my ipad, but I need a show that doesn’t take much concentration and something I can keep running in the background to keep me company. That’s how I got into Dr. Who. I’m on season 3 and getting pretty into it but I haven’t told anyone about this until now because it really is a pretty terrible show. I only just half mentioned it to the hubby and he laughed at me. But I have a long history of being super into terrible shows (Hello SG-1 and Legend of the Seeker!) and this one is totally up my alley. EXTERRRRMINATE!!! I love cheesy terrible shows.

So if anyone is reading this, confess! Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know yet. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.